Okay, so we know that you can't believe everything that a celebrity (or a celebrity magazine or a celebrity flack) says, and we know that it's hard enough to figure out how and why your own relationship ended, let alone that of Joe Jonas and Taylor Swift. (Or, say, Matt Damon and Minnie Driver: We once believed that Matt actually dumped Minnie on The Oprah Winfrey Show--but looking back, we now find ourselves squarely on Team Matt.) Also, we know that teenagers can't always be expected to act maturely when even fully grown adults screw up breakups on a daily basis. Hell, even yours truly have been breakup biotches in our time, and we literally wrote the book on how to do it nicely.

That all said, we feel it's our responsibility--being that we, you know, wrote the book on it--to speak out on how Joe Jonas may or may not have dumped Taylor Swift. As Taylor told Ellen DeGeneres (and really, who wouldn't want to get a little empathy and a big hug from Ellen after getting dumped?) Joe did the deed during a 27-second phone call. Um, sorry, no: The only dumping that should ever be done over the phone is when you're calling Dominos to cancel that pizza because it's taking too long. If the relationship is serious enough to make it into Us Weekly, then it's definitely serious enough to require an in-person breakup.

Joe then proceeded to defend himself...on his MySpace page. (Because when you've just broken a heart, what you really should be worrying about is how your fans are taking the news.) Apparently she hung up on him, he told his fans--hence the brief 27-second nature of the call. Well, yeah, we'd probably hang up on a dude, too, if he tried to dump us that way. Next time why not try a text dump, Joe? That way she doesn't even get to hang up on you! Buh bye!

Seriously though, Joe: You seem like a nice dude (albeit one in ridiculously tight trousers). And you're idolized by millions of pre-teens who take everything you do as gospel. So do the dating world a favor next time around and behave like a gentleman, would ya?