This is why I'm sooo glad I'm not in college anymore. Dr Drew is right - people in their 20's treat each other like crap, and you are experiencing that right now. If you are soulmates, cut him loose completely, catch up at the reunion, when you have both grown up a little, and he will be yours.

She should tell him where she stands, cut him loose to decide as he sees fit, and NOT continue the friendship if he needs to return to his old girlfriend.
It will be damaging to deny feelings and try to be just friends. Cut him loose, move on with your life, and if he returns to you and you still want him, he's yours. Don't torture yourself by falling into the "just friends, hoping for more" limbo.

I think you should let him go back with this on and off relationship. Cause then if he doesn't he will always have it in the back of his mind "what could have happened if i did go back with her?" Just let him go back with her to realize that it really is indeed over. He will realize who it is that he really needs in his life and will go back to the one person that means the most. Love is patient, love is kind and well if thats what you two have I'm sure it will be worth the wait.

I was concerned when he said that he was not a good guy, but she says his company fulfills what she's always wanted, so maybe his negative self-image was planted in his head by family members. The commitment issues, maybe they can be dealt with, I don't know. However, I do think she needs to get a bit tougher with him regarding the old girlfriend. He said he needs her in his life, but she needs to be clear that if he goes back to the ex, there's no guarantee she'll stay there. It seems inevitable that he'll get with the ex again; Ms. Ex must press on some weak spot within him. She's already expressed how she feels about him, and it's very mature of her to support his decision and not fight with him, but there's more she can do to increase her odds. She can bring up my favorite question to ask when thinking about recycling an ex - "What has happened in the meantime that will make things work this time around?" It's a tough question, but it should have an answer. She can also say that it's not a valid reason that "it's my longest relationship" and he might not have another one. He could simply be wasting more time in a place where he's wasted too much already. Lastly, she can plant some seeds, little thoughts that point out the potential folly in his decision. Thoughts that could be ringing in his head when things start to go wrong. His instincts don't appear to be so good when it comes to the ex, so this could bring him around more quickly to the question, "What am I doing here?" Unfortunately, she can't make the right decision for him or force him into it, but the relationship has shown promise in her mind, and maybe he needs to grow a little more so things could work out.

Obviously, the course of action that needs to be taken is:

This girl must tell him that she values his friendship and would like to remain friends, but that if he cannot give her an exclusive relationship then she will also be seeing other people.

And you know, actually do that. Not to make him jealous, but to remind herself that there are other good guys. So if she has a coffee with a cute friend or dances with somebody at a party, she is doing so because she has the freedom to do those things.

The most crucial thing in all this is - this girl is obviously more level-headed than the former girlfriend. She must, at all costs, maintain her level head whenever she seems him, maybe even cheerful yet distant if she can pull it off. She can feel as miserable as she wants - preferably in the company of friends - but around him, she shouldn't show it, no matter how much she feels the contrary. There are twofold benefits to this: he'll feel like the dumbass of the year for passing up a relationship with a girl who is easy to get along with and when she has the realization that he is the dumbass of the year, she will have the satisfaction of knowing that he will never know how much she was hurting.

There's also the possibility that he will come around, but it's always best to prepare for the worst and be surprised by the best.

I've been there, sister. Trust me. Cut him off, don't talk to him, but when you see him just give him that heartbreaking smile and in time he will come crawling back. You see, I was that on again, off again fling with my current boyfriend, who also has commitment issues and such. He broke up with me in an email after being off and on for 3 and a half years. Said he wanted to be friends still, but I said "If I can't have it my way, then why should you get it your way?" So I cut him off completely, and lo and behold, 2 months later, we ran into each other at a party. He tried to talk to me and I said hi but pretty much blew him off the whole time. After he left, he called my best friend to have us come to his house so he could talk to me. We discussed our issues and he said he wanted me back. I told him the only way that would happen is if we are in an official relationship (NOT that in-between, really good friends but with my fingers crossed hoping this works the way I want it to someday crap) and that he cuts off all his old ties with other girls who were wreaking havock with our relationship. And 3 months later, things are fantastic. We are even talking about moving in together and future plans.
Trust me, try it and he will come crawling back.

Men always tell you the truth about themselves early on, and woman rarely ever listen. But if he said, "He ...doesn't think he'd be able to have another long relationship with another person because he is not a good guy and has commitment issues," then listen to him and believe him.

Doesn't mean he's really a bad guy, but if he's telling you he has commitment issues, then he has commitment issues. Cut bait and move on -- it sucks, but waiting around for him to wake up one morning and realize that he really loves you is a waste of time. Trust. I know from experience.

This guy is a real piece of work. What he's telling her is a bunch of bullshit. Allow me to translate:

"I don't think I'll be able to have another long term relationship."
means
"I really just want to have no-strings sex with as many girls as I please right now."

"I'm not a good guy."
means
"I'm not a good guy, but I'll let you stick around, care for me, and try to prove me wrong."

"I have commitment issues."
means
"I have commitment issues."

If in four years he hasn't figured out if he likes someone enough to stick with them, in what way is he good dating material?

This guy is only after one thing from her- as well as the other girl too. i doubt he loves either of them. he might say he has feelings for them, and play up the "oh im such a bad guy, i have commitment issues" but trust me, the only thing you're going to get from this guy is a broken heart. i've been in this situation more than once, and had my heart broken. i feel bad for you, but even worse for the other girl. what you need to do is contact the other girl and tell her what he's doing, and find yourself a real guy that wants to be with you- and only you. ~Kim

you should let him knw where you stand with him and hhis situation.yes it will hurt you to let him go but you need to. if ya'll started of friends with benifits and both of you agreed with it , it would be very hard to change that to a committed relationship when at oe time you werent ready and now he isn't. but you should let him go and let him handle his loose ends with his ex because if he doesn't and the both of you decided to try and committ 2 each other there will be a HUGE chance that he will forever have what if thoughts about her reguardless of his mistakes he made with her and what the both of you are trying to build. Try and take it as it was frieds with benifits w/ your college crush. if it was meant to be he will come back since you let him go on good terms.